Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
