it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
