Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
