i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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