I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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