I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
