Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
