What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
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You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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