I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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