where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
