; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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