You're my little dorito
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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