glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
