just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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