at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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