Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
