Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
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2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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