i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
