Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
