Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
