Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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