im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?