He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
