For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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