the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
