dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
