I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize