omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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