Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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