Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
