It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
