Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
