I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
