i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
