the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
