god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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