That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
