she was so not down for the gang bang
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
