He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
