you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
