Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
