i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
