i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.