the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
