At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
