Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
