No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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