pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
