I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
