I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
this will be a night to untag.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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