So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
