How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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