It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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