I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
