He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
