I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
