Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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