How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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