fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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