Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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