Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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