I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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