Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
