dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
