Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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