I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How does one acquire holy water?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize