i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
