Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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