I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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